Today
was one of the roughest days that I have gone through in my life. I
took Chloe, my spirited Siamese Cat to the vet for the second time
this week. As I made the drive, I knew it would also be the last. She
had been very sick when I took her in on Tuesday, and the vet had
given her some fluids that gave her a little bit of life. Friday
afternoon, when I picked her up, I was elated when I broke off a
piece of a chicken strip to give to her – one of her favorites. She
wolfed it down. But, it was downhill from there. As is the case with
most animals on their last legs, she couldn’t walk well, wasn’t
eating, and had other problems.
But,
when I picked her up to hold her, she still cradled me like a baby.
And, with good reason....she was mine. The first time I ever met this
little spitfire was in April 2008. My wife at the time wanted a
kitten. We already had a few cats we had taken from my father’s
farm, so I wasn’t too keen on the idea. But, off we went to Bon
Aqua to take a look at these kittens. There were a couple of black
cats, and one yellow – normal looking ones, I thought. Then....this
little white flash came bouncing around the corner. Well, if we had
to get another animal, this was going to be the one. So, we took her
home. Or, better yet, she took us back to her new house. I just drove
the car.
To
say Chloe had a spirit about her would be an understatement. And,
nobody loved making that spirit come alive any more than me. I
delighted in....ticking her off. Whether that meant rough-housing
with her – which I have the scratches to prove It, or taking my
time with her on such things as opening the cat food cans that became
such a part of our cat’s life. So many of my ups, and so many of my
downs – Chloe was right there. I would be laying in bed sometimes
sound asleep when I would feel this push on my neck. She would ram
her head up there to sleep as if I was her parent. I guess I was.
Heck, I even learned to sleep that way.
The
only other loss I have experienced that has affected me like this was
my mother – nine years ago tomorrow. But, due to the nature of her
illness, I knew it was coming. This was very much out of the blue.
Making that decision was one of the toughest things I have ever done.
But, having spent last night with her – hearing her cry, seeing her
not be able to move with free will, or eat and drink....I knew. But,
on the way to the vet, I made one final stop at the Shell station to
get a couple of chicken strips – just to see if she would eat. That
would change my mind. Nothing. I had taken a cat to be put down
before, but selfishly took the chicken way out and stayed in the
waiting room. I owed it to Chloe to be there. As much as I had cried
this week over her, and as much as I have thought about her and cried
this afternoon, it was so peaceful...so quiet. Many have told me
‘It’s the right thing to do.’ I guess so, but I feel awful.
Over
the past few years, I have studied the love of animals and people.
Animals love us unconditionally. We have a good day? They’re there.
A bad day? They know that too. Chloe was that way, much the same way
that Buddy, a dog that my father and Marcia own, is. I went by there
for some stuff today, and was crying a little. He knew. Animals not
only love us unconditionally, but they know us in a way that nobody
else does. And, you don’t ever have to worry about “relating”
to a pet like a human. They either do or don’t, but you can’t buy
it...or influence it. Chloe was one of those kind. My heart is so sad
tonight that all the stuff I have on the calendar this week I don’t
really care about. I’ll put my game face on and do it, but I’m a
little empty tonight.
And,
as I write this, the radio is playing “It Was Almost Like A Song.”
Damn. How did Milsap know? Anyway, Chloe, I miss you, my furry little
friend, who will always be a part of my life. Run over that “Rainbow
Bridge,” and while you’re there....find a woman named Paulette
Dauphin, I think you’ll like her. Mamas are like that! I hope you
know how much I love you. I hope I did the right thing, but these
tears in my eyes aren’t convincing me......
