I talk too
much.
It’s something
I can’t help, however.
Since 2011, I
have been a member of that social network called Facebook. And, I’ll be honest
with you, there are times since then that I believe that I wouldn’t be here
without it. It’s got me through some very tough times, and heck, I’ve picked up
some great story ideas by reading other peoples’ feeds – not to mention, seeing
what many of you have had for supper occasionally.
OK. I lied
about that last line. Not that interested, just as you wouldn’t be that
interested in my menu for the evening.
The thing that
amazes me so much about the FB world is how instant it is. You put something
out there, and people pick up on it quick. And….I put it out there….as I did
the other night. I posted a request for prayer. I didn’t go into details, just
asked for people to remember me.
And, the
outpouring has been amazing.
Long story
short, I am going through some things right now that I need to deal with. Some
of them are by my own hand – health being one of them. I have let a lot of
things go over the years, and there’s nobody else to blame but me. Merle
Haggard once said “If I had known I was going to live to be this old, I would
have taken better care of myself.” Well said, Mr. Haggard! That rings true for
almost anyone, but with me – my problem is I never thought I was worth the
taking care of. There is a degree of self-loathing that I have with myself that
I need to get to the bottom of. And, it’s not a teacher from fifth grade, a
bully from eighth, or an ex that put it there, it comes from within. I have got
to find that reason out.
There are a
few other decisions that I need to make about my life as well. As much as I
like to talk, I’m not going to do it here. We all have things we need to do,
some get done, and some don’t. But, I am kind of at a crossroads right now
about a lot of things in my life. I don’t want what has been to be the best. I
am trying to turn my thought process around and think that the best is yet to
come.
And, why
shouldn’t it be? God has shown me his blessings in so many ways – particularly in
my career the past four years. I have a son who I am very proud of – who truth
be told, I wasn’t going to win any “Father of the Year” prizes…at least early,
but I was still learning. And, I still am. I am also blessed with family – which
includes a circle of people (that is a little wider than I even can imagine)
who might not share my bloodline, but I am as close to as just about anyone.
So, long story
short, I’ve got to take control of my life in 2015. And, I’ll be honest. I am
scared as hell. Aside from my career, so much in my life seems almost a lost
cause at times…..but I have been praying about it – for God to show me the
answers for what I need to do to make the next chapter of my life better than
the previous. While I don’t know where to start, he will show me the way – as he
has always done – and always will.
Some of you
might be thinking “You know, you’re not the only one who…..(fill in the blank),
and that’s true, I’m not.” But, I wanted to let you know some of what was going
on – all is fine career-wise, and work-wise. I’m working like crazy and loving
it. Just time to make a few other transitions in my life…..if I can….
And, as Forrest Gump would say, ‘That’s All I’ve
Got To Say About That.’
