If you were to ask me about the first time I met Eugene
Estes, to be honest, I would probably draw a blank. As it turned out, I only
knew him for about eleven years all told. But, his influence on my life was
unlike few that I have ever met. Looking back, I must have met him in early
2006, not too long after the passing of my mother. It was a time of a lot of
transitions in my life, and there was something about Eugene, who had started
coming to Church where I did that reminded me of the past. He was well into his
70s at this point, but in spite of that age difference, something clicked, and
we became fast friends.
He ate lunch at Buddy’s, a little restaurant not too far from
the house. Most afternoons, unless I was working, the day would usually find me
there. It really wasn’t the food, but the ambience. I had made a new friend. As
the son of a natural-born agitator, the apple didn’t fall too far from the
tree, and Eugene Estes was likewise. Smart-aleck at times? Sure. Gruff? Definitely.
Full of it? Yes, but that was the fun of it. For an hour or so – unless I chose
to go back to Buddy’s for the 2pm crowd, which could get kind of raucous – I didn’t
have to think about anything. About how life had changed, and was changing
around me. I could just enjoy the moment. He was exactly what I needed at the
time that I needed it. And, I was grateful.
Over the years, he became pretty much like a grandfather to
me. Hold it. I’ve said before that family is a relative term – and sometimes
relationships are thicker than blood. He was my grandfather….or better yet, my “Pappy.”
Now, if you ever heard a phone conversation between us, you might wonder if that
was true or not. We would typically start in on one another with greetings that
might get someone else slapped – if they knew the context. But, it was our way.
I would call him things that I would never call anyone else…..and vice versa.
And, just thinking of all that makes me smile. My time with him was always fun –
and was the only thing that completely cleared my mind of the stresses of my
work.
Whether it be on the phone, at Buddy’s – or Jeanine’s – where
his office later was, I usually was good for at least one lunch a week until he
entered NHC last year. He didn’t really want to go – as I found out t last
summer when I spent two weeks there, I can’t blame him. But, I still made the
effort to try to get to see him at least once a week. Now, I will confess that
one of the highlights of being a patient there during my rehab from surgery was
the fact that he was just down the hall. He and I would wheel each other down
the hallways as if we were going to crash into each other – He was much better
at that than me, except when he popped a wheelie, and almost fell out of the
wheelchair. (I didn’t witness it first hand, but I heard about it!). We would
talk trash about the other in front of the nurses, and I think they got a kick
out of knowing just how full of it both of us actually were!
You probably know how this is going to end. This afternoon,
Eugene Estes passed away. But, unlike many losses I have felt, I can’t say that
I am sad beyond belief. He lived almost eighty-five years, and most of them
were pretty good. I just consider myself blessed to have had a friend who came
along at a time that I needed one – where I could just be myself. I don’t know
how the past twelve years or so would have been without his friendship……and for
that I am grateful beyond belief. Maybe, just maybe, Eugene Estes was an angel.
If so, a weird-looking one, but I wouldn’t be surprised……Rest in peace,
Haystack!
