Mama,
Wow. It’s been twelve years today. In a lot of ways it seems
like it was yesterday that I made that drive to Nickell Cemetery in a town that I had no idea that I would be
living less than two years later – Centerville. Some ways, it seems like it has
been forever. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought of you
since you left us. I don’t guess there ever will.
I wonder what you would think about my life today. Sometimes,
I feel that it’s like one of those hot side / cold side sandwiches that McDonalds
used to sell. The good – well, I wound up doing what I always wanted to with my
life. That feels good, considering it’s about the only thing I know how to do.
I can’t say that I ever had a concrete plan, but fortunately God did, and I
somehow have been blessed to do what I do on the scale I do it. It’s not
perfect, and I live close to the edge every month – but I wake up in the
morning ready to roll, and love what I do. That part of my life couldn’t be
better.
The personal side isn’t all that bad. I am blessed with a
close inner circle of friends and family that have always made me feel accepted
and loved. I am blessed to have two or three “Mamas” that I can go to when
things get rough. I am blessed for each of them. I have two wonderful children.
I can’t say that I have always been “Father of the Year” to either, but I think
there is genuine love and affection between us. I am grateful for that. They
have provided me some of the happiest moments of my life. Marriage / Dating
hasn’t been as smooth, and I get down about that from time to time, but I’m
better than I used to be concerning it. If someone comes along, that would be
great, but you can’t force it. But, it’s cool. Life heals a lot of wounds, and
I feel pretty confident that 95 – no, 92% of the people I know like me in spite
of myself. Depression is something that takes away a lot of my positive energy
at times, but I do think I’m 120% better than I used to be.
I hope that you’re doing well up there. I don’t know if
Heaven has a store that sells Pall Mall Golds, but I do know that Buck Owens
has been there since 2006 – and I’m sure you’re on the front row, (Yeah, you can’t
get me for that one where you’re at!)……Life is good today. I am staying busy
with work, and am about to go on my first pure vacation since….well, I don’t
know when. No concerts, No interviews,
Nobody I have to see. Yeah, I’ll probably be a miserable sap….but I’m gonna try
it. I don’t guess it’s a coincidence I’m leaving for Florida on your birthday.
Guess I will have a Pina Colada. That’s the tradition. Anyway, I just wanted to
say hello, and that I was thinking of you. Today, tomorrow, and forever.
Missing You,
Chuck