My mother was not the only person to believe in me. I have been blessed to have a wonderful father, family, and friends. Seven years ago, she went "home." I wasn't planning to write this, but waking up this morning in the middle of the night at the same time I did on this date in 2005 made me think overnight....It was a phone that rang then. This morning, I don't know.
I
was coming back from an interview in Nashville when my cell phone
rang around the Pegram / McCoury Lane exit on Interstate 40. It was
my father. "If you can, you probably need to get here this
afternoon," he said, referring to Dickson County Healthcare, a
place where he and I had spent many a early morning and a late night
since my mother had been admitted as a patient for about a month.
Neither one of us had missed a day since she was admitted. That's
something that I have to say I felt pretty good about. In just a
month's time, you find out that many people do not ever visit their
"loved ones" in the nursing home, including one of
Dickson's biggest "movers and shakers," who actually is
nothing more than the other name for a mule....but anyway...There
seemed to be some kind of complication with my mother's health. You
worry, but you also know that with her situation, she's probably
going to be here a while. Seven years later, I can't say that I
totally understand what happened or why, but there would be getting
no better.....as things would only get worse. Still, how many times
had we braced ourselves...and she would rebound enough to make it to
the next day. There was one night, after a football game, where I
stopped there on the way home, and they said that I probably
shouldn't leave. Her vitals were dropping.....only to be normal again
in just a few hours. So, even though she wasn't having a good day, I
wasn't going to go anywhere but there....just in case.
October 25, 2005 (10:30pm)
It had been a long night, but everything seemed to have gotten better. I don't remember there being a moment where I think she was aware of her surroundings, but we had our goodbye moment about a week prior. I was tired--it had been a long day, plus I was to do some fill-in work at the radio station where I was working the next morning. Daddy was still there, so I thought I would go on home and go to bed. It was a down day, but there would be others....and who knows tomorrow just might be better.
October 25, 2005 (11:45pm)
Daddy got in, and I had just got done with everything I needed to do, and about to hit the bed. Prayed a prayer for God's will. I had learned after talking with some counselors from Hospice that it was alright to let them go. I didn't pray for that, but I did ask that God's will be done. She had suffered so much, and there didn't look to be any kind of turnaround......So, I got in bed. 104.5 The Zone was talking about the Chicago White Sox's game in the World Series that night, and I was drifting.
October 26, 2005 (12:25am)
The ringing of the phone breaks the beginning of sleep. At first, I thought it might be one of my friends who would call having ran out of gas in the middle of the night. Caller ID, however, said the rest of the story. "Dickson Heathcare,' it said. Daddy answered the phone. A football coach and a good friend of mine named Jerry Pearson once told me that the phone doesn't ring for a good reason past midnight. It seemed at the 12:20 night check, my mother's pulse and heartbeat had stopped. It was over. We drove to Dickson, and I didn't know whether I should cry or not...I was numb. After we called Taylor Funeral Home, there wasn't nothing much to do except to go back home. The sun shone the next morning, of all things.
October 27-28, 2005
For all the bad memories of the week, the outpouring of love and sympathy was great. So many of my friends from radio, music, and DCHS came by. The funeral was what funerals are supposed to be. I spoke. It wasn't that bad. The burial, however, was something else. That night, I was on the air, broadcasting a football game in Williamson County. Some probably didn't understand or understand that fact now.....but I sleep at night. Even though I wasn't "on" that night, that's where I needed to be. The week was over.
October 26, 2012
Seven years......That's hard to believe. I had people I cared about who passed away prior to you, but over time I guess you get used to it. I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought of you. I have been working all week like crazy, and went to bed last night at 11. I woke up not feeling too well in what I thought was the early morning hours. I looked at my phone, and wouldn’t you know it? 12:20. I’m not making this up, believe me.
October 25, 2005 (10:30pm)
It had been a long night, but everything seemed to have gotten better. I don't remember there being a moment where I think she was aware of her surroundings, but we had our goodbye moment about a week prior. I was tired--it had been a long day, plus I was to do some fill-in work at the radio station where I was working the next morning. Daddy was still there, so I thought I would go on home and go to bed. It was a down day, but there would be others....and who knows tomorrow just might be better.
October 25, 2005 (11:45pm)
Daddy got in, and I had just got done with everything I needed to do, and about to hit the bed. Prayed a prayer for God's will. I had learned after talking with some counselors from Hospice that it was alright to let them go. I didn't pray for that, but I did ask that God's will be done. She had suffered so much, and there didn't look to be any kind of turnaround......So, I got in bed. 104.5 The Zone was talking about the Chicago White Sox's game in the World Series that night, and I was drifting.
October 26, 2005 (12:25am)
The ringing of the phone breaks the beginning of sleep. At first, I thought it might be one of my friends who would call having ran out of gas in the middle of the night. Caller ID, however, said the rest of the story. "Dickson Heathcare,' it said. Daddy answered the phone. A football coach and a good friend of mine named Jerry Pearson once told me that the phone doesn't ring for a good reason past midnight. It seemed at the 12:20 night check, my mother's pulse and heartbeat had stopped. It was over. We drove to Dickson, and I didn't know whether I should cry or not...I was numb. After we called Taylor Funeral Home, there wasn't nothing much to do except to go back home. The sun shone the next morning, of all things.
October 27-28, 2005
For all the bad memories of the week, the outpouring of love and sympathy was great. So many of my friends from radio, music, and DCHS came by. The funeral was what funerals are supposed to be. I spoke. It wasn't that bad. The burial, however, was something else. That night, I was on the air, broadcasting a football game in Williamson County. Some probably didn't understand or understand that fact now.....but I sleep at night. Even though I wasn't "on" that night, that's where I needed to be. The week was over.
October 26, 2012
Seven years......That's hard to believe. I had people I cared about who passed away prior to you, but over time I guess you get used to it. I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought of you. I have been working all week like crazy, and went to bed last night at 11. I woke up not feeling too well in what I thought was the early morning hours. I looked at my phone, and wouldn’t you know it? 12:20. I’m not making this up, believe me.
You
told me once to “Do what you do....Things will always work out like
they should.” I’m still hoping that’s right. Some days, it
feels like it’s one step forward, two steps back. But, I will tell
you that my faith is stronger than it has ever been. Every time
things have looked bleak, the checking account has looked dry, He has
provided. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have done
something else, but this is me. I am doing the only thing I know to do. And, most of the time, there are no
regrets. It’s
going to work out. God is there, and he will continue to be. The other day, one of my friends put
up a Facebook post about recognizing people in Heaven. It’s a
debate that has went on for a long time. Though either way, it’s
going to be...Heaven, I hope so. I couldn’t imagine not. Well, I’m
gonna run for now. I love you. I’ll let you go. I hear Buck Owens
is singing this morning, and I know how much you want to hear
that....or maybe not!
Your
son,
Chuck
