Today
was an interesting day. I stopped at a store to get a birthday card
for a friend, and somebody approached me, asking me “How’s that
author?” But, they weren’t asking about me, they were asking
about my ex-wife. I thought about the response, because the person is
someone I have a lot of respect for – and had no way of knowing. I
just smiled and said ‘Well, I don’t know, but we’ve actually
been divorced for about two years.’ And, so the conversation moved
on from there.
In
thinking about it since then, I sincerely hope I handled things the
right way. I have really tried to make a concentrated effort to move
on from the past. Life moves on, and you do the best you can to go
along with it. Both of us have picked up the pieces of what was –
and have moved on with life. But, the strangest thing about this is
there is really no bitterness about things anymore. Sometimes things
just don’t work out. Kristofferson – whom I identify with a lot
of lyrics more now than I did a decade ago – wrote a song once
called “Two Stories Wide.” While that’s true, I am not going to
get into the the rehash business. There’s no need to. But, I had to
share this other thought that happened last week.
I
had driven down to Huntingdon to see TG Sheppard and Kelly Lang in
concert. I had gotten into town early, and had some work to do –
you know, Have computer, will travel! So, I stopped at one of the
local restaurants that had Wi-Fi. As I was pulling in, I had the
radio on one of the local stations in West Tennessee, and this song
came on. But, it wasn’t any other song....it was “The Song.” I
haven’t heard it in years......and there was no pain, no sadness,
or melancholy. To be honest with you, I even smiled. Some of my
friends have said that there would come a day when all the feelings
you once felt – the pain, etc, would go away. It took a while, but
I went back in time and it wasn’t a bad memory. It wasn’t meant
to be...but there were some good times. It felt amazing to get to
that point. I truthfully wish nothing but the best for everyone. Took
a while, but that’s where I am.
Now,
that being said. Being asked that question made me realize that I
probably need to advertise a little more. Meeting someone is not easy
for me. I’m not going to go up to someone in a club – or Walmart,
and say in my best “Joey” voice - “How you doin?” I wish I
had that confidence. And, to be honest, the idea that someone could
be attracted to me is a little foreign. There’s been a few chances
the past few years, but the moment something doesn’t feel right, I
get spooked – and maybe that’s a good thing. If I get a vibe that
someone thinks I am a little weird or work too much, that’s usually
a red flag. You might think that’s perfectionist talk....but it’s
not. I am off-center. Some people hate what they do, and try to get away from it. I am - as proven by my writing this at 11:09pm, a glutton. Most people wouldn’t describe themselves like
that, but heck, I am being honest. I just don’t like feeling like I
am being judged for it. I used to think that people wore white hats
or black hats. Those lines have gotten blurred with life. My hat
color is a little gray. I am a Christian, and proud to have seen my
walk with God grow, but there are flaws and quirks I have – and not
all of them are bad. That being said, I would love to meet someone
again. it’s time, I think. But, my timeline has really worked well
to this point. I’m leaving it to the man upstairs, but.....as I
said, it might be time to take out a radio ad......Not everyone
knows! They say that radio gets results....LOL!
