A Plea For Forgiveness

I will be the first to admit that my blogs sometimes get a little heavy. Whether it be the recent passing of a beloved family pet or lamenting the fact that I am currently flying solo, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve more than a little bit. And, truth be told, this week has had a few things that haven’t gone the way that I would like.....but, I promised light and easy in my last one. Actually, I said in my last blog I was going to admit to my ten biggest celebrity crushes. While that sounds good on paper, the truth is that some of them – more out of boredom than anything else – could actually wind up seeing that...so I need to go in another direction.....But, it’s funny how things tend to write themselves.

Last weekend, I was on the road up in the Blue Ridge Mountains in the city of Staunton, Virginia. As I do whenever I go somewhere, I tend to be drawn to the dazzling blue lights of Walmart. Sometimes, you tend to leave things at home that you need or you just feel compelled to look around. While most stores are the same, if you go into the men’s department, there is usually a bit of a regional flavor. Take Cushing, Oklahoma. Been there. Bought the Oklahoma State and Sooners shirts. Columbus, Georgia – got the Bulldogs edition. So, while at Staunton, I went to the clothes rack and for some unknown reason, they had a great deal of Steelers shirts and hats. So, I bought a couple. I don’t have any Pittsburgh stuff, so I didn’t think it was a big deal – until a picture of me with them on hit the Facebook world. Now, let me say that I have never been asked “What are you wearing?” But, there was a minor firestorm among my fellow Cowboys fans. You see, there were these two Super Bowls back in the 1970s.........

Though I am not planning a Super Bowl party this year, let me make this clear about my loyalty – I am a Dallas Cowboys fan. Through Super Bowls. Through 1-15. Through Aikman to Irvin. Through Romo to the opposition. A few years ago, I did cheer very heavily for Brett Favre when he played for the Vikings. It was personal. I believe that he was pushed out the door a little early, and at the time it was an emotion I totally understood. But, at the end of the day, Dallas is where it begins and ends for me. Once their season comes to an end, do I care if San Francisco, New England, or Cleveland wins? Nope.

However, when it comes to wearing clothes. I have two rules. You will never see me wear anything Philadelphia Eagles related – for a lot of reasons. Now, if Jenny McCarthy (or a halfway equivalent) comes to me and tells me to wear it, I might have to think about it. (I can’t be bought, but I can be had!) But, seriously, I hate the Eagles. Once upon a time, a defensive genius named Buddy Ryan was their coach. Buddy Ryan is a ______. They could go 0-16, and that would not be bad enough for me. (I know, they did show themselves to be better than Dallas today, but I digress.) The same goes for the New York Midgets...Oops, I mean Giants. I don’t hate them nearly as much as the Eagles, but there might be some Vols fans who believe that by me supporting a team that Eli Manning plays for (who played for OLE MISS!), I am in some way supporting that team off of exit 388 in Knoxville, because his brother played there. (Though you can’t help but admire the job Butch Jones is doing. I am a smart aleck, but a realist!)

The other rule is if the Cowboys are playing a team that week, I won’t wear their stuff. That’s just wrong. But, if I traveled to San Francisco, and could buy a Montana throwback jersey, would I? Yes. Would I buy a Kansas City jersey? Sure. Peyton Manning? Though some would take it as me being a UT fan, I would. Simply said, he’s one of the best of all time. I love the Cowboys, but I am also a sports fan. I have been to Lambeau Field, and would love to go back. The Packers are a special team. I wouldn’t mind going to Foxboro...Soldier Field....or Yankees Stadium. I would more than likely buy...and wear the T-Shirt. But, win or lose ugly like today, my allegiance is to the team that Jerry built.

But, if I offended you with my actions this week, I am sorry. One of my fellow Big D fans, Richard Giardelli, even went as far to say that if the Cowboys lost to the Eagles earlier today, it was a direct result of the bad karma that I brought about as a result of my fashion choice. Rich, I love you like a brother from another mother. But, you can’t blame me for a train wreck like that. But, still I proudly say....How ‘Bout Them Cowboys!

(And, Jenny McCarthy – or halfway equivalent – call me. I just might negotiate!)

A Letter To Mom....

October 26, 2014

Mom,

It’s been nine years since you’ve been gone. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday, and sometimes like an eternity ago. I never totally understood what it’s like to think about someone who has been gone every day – until you. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by since you left that there hasn’t been at least one thought of you in my mind. To be honest, I never thought I would get through the first year, and now it’s been a lot longer than that. Time goes by, I guess.

I wonder sometimes if you’re aware of what is going on down here. The past eight years have been the most amazing times of my life. Not to say that it hasn’t been a roller coaster, as those amazing times have included some highs that I never thought imaginable – and some lows that I also didn’t expect. I’m not quite sure how I have handled everything. Work-wise, I like to think I busted my backside trying to work myself up in the business. There have been some low points - but overall, I have no complaints. I have gotten to interview people and go places that I never thought possible. I am trying to take advantage of everything I can possibly do – from writing about everyone from recording artists to football and basketball to whatever comes my way. I enjoy the writing about music as much as anything. I never could sing but for whatever reason, I need music – and to tell people about it – like I need air. It’s about the only thing I know. I feel like I am on the right track. I hope you can see some of that.....

On the other hand, there are a few times I have thought it might be a good thing if you are totally unaware of the past nine years. I always haven’t handled things as well as I should have – or was taught to. I get very down on myself at times, and there are days where I can be a moody son-of-a.....I’m not too proud of my mistakes....but at the same time....I have learned from some of them.

I am so proud of the relationship I have with my son. You’d be really proud of him. We are closer than we’ve ever been before. I am grateful for that. Would go through everything all over again – for that reason alone. I still haven’t given up hope about the right one coming along. I try not to judge myself on whether I’m dating someone or not, but sometimes I still do. Truth be told, I guess I always will. But, there are worse things than being alone. But, that special someone....I still dream and hope for that. That might require me taking a few more chances. But, I don’t need – or want them to be my “savior.” I’ve got one, and if anyone saves me, I’ve got to be the one. I’ve also got to take care of myself. I let things get out of control there. I still fight depression, but I’m trying. I just try to work like crazy so I don’t think about it.

I never hear a Conway Twitty song that I don’t think of you. I still try to tune into QVC for at least a few minutes on July 25 for “Christmas In July,” and somewhere between the 26^th and your birthday on the 30^th, I will probably be found at a Red Lobster drinking a Pina Colada in honor of you. But, all that stuff is symbolic. I miss talking to you – hearing your voice. A few years ago, I was dubbing some interviews onto CD, and I found a phone call where you had called the station. Wasn’t more than 30 seconds, if that long, but it was good to hear. I wonder what you would have to say about different things in my life – good or bad.

Anyway, I am going to close this note to you by just telling you that I was thinking of you today, and though it sounds like I am very melancholy....I am actually in a better place than I was in 2013....or 2012..and so forth. I’m closer to God than ever before. He’s always had my back – but I’ve noticed it a lot more since moving back to Tennessee. Still have a few pieces of the puzzle I would like to try to insert into my life, still hoping that my second act is more successful than my first, but I am working on it Don’t give up on me just yet.....and if a little bossy Siamese cat comes knocking on your door, take her in. I sent her!

CHLOE

Today was one of the roughest days that I have gone through in my life. I took Chloe, my spirited Siamese Cat to the vet for the second time this week. As I made the drive, I knew it would also be the last. She had been very sick when I took her in on Tuesday, and the vet had given her some fluids that gave her a little bit of life. Friday afternoon, when I picked her up, I was elated when I broke off a piece of a chicken strip to give to her – one of her favorites. She wolfed it down. But, it was downhill from there. As is the case with most animals on their last legs, she couldn’t walk well, wasn’t eating, and had other problems.

But, when I picked her up to hold her, she still cradled me like a baby. And, with good reason....she was mine. The first time I ever met this little spitfire was in April 2008. My wife at the time wanted a kitten. We already had a few cats we had taken from my father’s farm, so I wasn’t too keen on the idea. But, off we went to Bon Aqua to take a look at these kittens. There were a couple of black cats, and one yellow – normal looking ones, I thought. Then....this little white flash came bouncing around the corner. Well, if we had to get another animal, this was going to be the one. So, we took her home. Or, better yet, she took us back to her new house. I just drove the car.

To say Chloe had a spirit about her would be an understatement. And, nobody loved making that spirit come alive any more than me. I delighted in....ticking her off. Whether that meant rough-housing with her – which I have the scratches to prove It, or taking my time with her on such things as opening the cat food cans that became such a part of our cat’s life. So many of my ups, and so many of my downs – Chloe was right there. I would be laying in bed sometimes sound asleep when I would feel this push on my neck. She would ram her head up there to sleep as if I was her parent. I guess I was. Heck, I even learned to sleep that way.

The only other loss I have experienced that has affected me like this was my mother – nine years ago tomorrow. But, due to the nature of her illness, I knew it was coming. This was very much out of the blue. Making that decision was one of the toughest things I have ever done. But, having spent last night with her – hearing her cry, seeing her not be able to move with free will, or eat and drink....I knew. But, on the way to the vet, I made one final stop at the Shell station to get a couple of chicken strips – just to see if she would eat. That would change my mind. Nothing. I had taken a cat to be put down before, but selfishly took the chicken way out and stayed in the waiting room. I owed it to Chloe to be there. As much as I had cried this week over her, and as much as I have thought about her and cried this afternoon, it was so peaceful...so quiet. Many have told me ‘It’s the right thing to do.’ I guess so, but I feel awful.

Over the past few years, I have studied the love of animals and people. Animals love us unconditionally. We have a good day? They’re there. A bad day? They know that too. Chloe was that way, much the same way that Buddy, a dog that my father and Marcia own, is. I went by there for some stuff today, and was crying a little. He knew. Animals not only love us unconditionally, but they know us in a way that nobody else does. And, you don’t ever have to worry about “relating” to a pet like a human. They either do or don’t, but you can’t buy it...or influence it. Chloe was one of those kind. My heart is so sad tonight that all the stuff I have on the calendar this week I don’t really care about. I’ll put my game face on and do it, but I’m a little empty tonight.

And, as I write this, the radio is playing “It Was Almost Like A Song.” Damn. How did Milsap know? Anyway, Chloe, I miss you, my furry little friend, who will always be a part of my life. Run over that “Rainbow Bridge,” and while you’re there....find a woman named Paulette Dauphin, I think you’ll like her. Mamas are like that! I hope you know how much I love you. I hope I did the right thing, but these tears in my eyes aren’t convincing me......

Goodnight, Dallas!

I haven’t blogged much lately on a personal front. There has been a lot of stuff going on, but trying to find the words to say it in an eloquent manner is kind of eluding me at the moment. But, hopefully it will. I have been blessed to have been a little bit of here, there, and everywhere lately – I’ll share more info about that later...But, today, I must write about bidding adieu to an old friend.....

This past Friday, I was in West Tennessee, and I was checking Facebook for what seemed like the 173,321st time of the day. And, I saw the news which hit me like a bullet through the heart - “TNT Cancels Dallas.” You know how sometimes you expect something to happen, but when you see it – it still hits you? That’s how I felt Friday afternoon about 4pm. A 40-year old man....sad about the cancellation of a...soap opera? Yes, and let me explain.

Back in the late 1970s, Television was a great place – and that was just with three or four channels. One of my favorite parts of the week was watching “The Dukes Of Hazzard” on Friday nights. At four or five, I don’t remember what the appeal was – maybe the car, maybe the “cool” factor – I was much too young to have lusted after Catherine Bach – that came later – but Friday nights were it for me. I don’t recall having a specific bedtime at that age, but my parents seemed to also enjoy this show that came on after it....called “Dallas.” I figured out that if I acted interested in the show, I could put off bedtime from 9 until 10pm. But, the funny thing was....I actually became interested in the show – and all the way until the final episode of the CBS original aired on May 3, 1991 – (I took off from school that day. Trust me, I remember!), I was hooked on the weekly trials and tribulations of the most dysfunctional family that ever resided west of the Mississippi – the Ewings. Friday nights – no matter what else was going on in my life growing up – were big because of the happenings at Southfork Ranch.

Why Dallas? I think it always offered a bit of pure escapism. The first eight seasons of the show were about as brilliant as dramatic TV gets – after that, it was kind of hit or miss, but it was still “Must See TV” to me. Of course, at the center of the drama was the villainous JR Ewing, played by Larry Hagman. Back in my high school days, I actually dressed in a business suit and cowboy hat and carried a briefcase on “Character Day” as JR himself. (Suffice to say, I never was cool at DCHS, but I was me)......Maybe I wanted to be JR – have that quick wit, that power with women. Heck, I’m 40 and I still do!

You know how a lot of people who are fans of “Star Trek” are called “Trekkies?’ I’m the same way....with “Dallas.” Outside of my closest family....I probably know more about the Ewing family tree than mine.....So, reruns and reunion movies over the years were always huge events. And, then in 2012, came word that TNT was going to bring the show back. And, in June of that year – the 18^th to be precise, I was there. The continuation of the show was entertaining and fun, and Hagman’s 80-year old portrayal of JR was more like the early years than the buffoon he was at the end of the CBS years. But, on cable TV, it’s a tough draw to keep an audience...and the writing didn’t help at times either. It could be hit or miss, with a plot started one week – and forgotten about two weeks later. But, mediocre “Dallas” is still better than most other TV.....and the show did have its’ high points – such as season two, which featured the passing of JR Ewing (following Hagman’s death) and the white-hot chemistry of Josh Henderson as John Ross Ewing and Julie Gonzalo as Pamela Barnes – a Ewing and a Barnes together - Sound familiar? (But, to be fair, Gonzalo is so gorgeous that all one needs is a pulse not to be a little bit excited if you were doing a love scene with her!)

The series ended with a cliffhanger episode about three weeks ago – without word on whether TNT would renew the series for a fourth season. Friday, the word came. No more “Dallas.” Well, to be honest, I’m more than kind of bummed. Though I wasn’t always pleased with every plot twist the past three years, “Dallas” once again helped me to escape the trials and tribulations of my life – which were a little bit more serious since 2012 than 1982! And, for that alone, I am grateful. Maybe another network will pick it up, but I am not really optimistic. The ratings weren’t that good.....but if nothing else...the show brought three things to my attention....

• Josh Henderson is going to be a major TV / Movie / Music star. He chewed up the scenery of every plot he was featured in. He made being bad look as fun as Hagman did years ago! And he has as much charisma as any TV star I have seen since Clooney first hit the ER.
• I got to meet Linda Gray when she and Henderson hit Nashville as part of a promotional tour for TNT during the premiere week of the show back in 2012. Next to Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched, Sue Ellen Ewing is the absolute bomb of female characters in TV history
• And, we got to hear that classic theme song again – no matter what you might have thought about the show....the theme was larger than life – on a par with Hawaii Five-0 and The Andy Griffith Show.

So, at least for now, Goodnight, Dallas. It was one heck of a ride!

Reflections On The War From Within...

This week has been an emotionally charged week for many. This Monday afternoon, upon returning from a trip to Virginia, I stopped to get something to eat. I checked my Facebook, and there were all kind of reports about Robin Williams dying. At first, I thought it likely was some kind of Facebook hoax – which happens from time to time. But, as time went on, I found out that the news was all too true. And, as the facts came in, it appeared that Mr. Williams took his own life.

Since then, there have been posts galore about Williams’ career, and just what he meant to people. But, along the way, there have been several other discussions. Some have been honest discussions about suicide and depression, while others have uttered phrases such as “selfish” and “I hope his heart was right.” There has even been one national personality who has linked Williams’ death with his political leanings. Wow. You can’t make this stuff up.

I have to say that my feelings on such a topic as depression has changed greatly over the years. I used to think people used such a term – or a panic attack as a cop out when they didn’t want to deal. Time – and life – has since proved me wrong. Back in 2009, my life – which had always been pretty much constant – began to totally unravel. The job that had always defined me disappeared one day – and so did my identity. And, that – along with other factors – led to other things going south. I tried to handle things the only way I knew, and sought counseling from different people. I thought I had a handle on it. 2010 would prove otherwise. 

 

There was an afternoon about four years ago where I decided I had had enough. I am not going into the circumstances of what led me down that path – but there was an event that shook me to my very core, making me scared of what was around the corner. Have you ever had that sinking feeling that you knew you couldn’t change things? That’s how I felt.

So, that night, I took a few pills. Now, let me say, I wonder just how serious I was about it at the time, because I never learned how to drink – or anything about dosage. But, let’s just say that I took more than average. I was done. I went to sleep that night, hoping that there would be no more.

And, then the next morning, I woke up. Needless to say, I was surprised. I would love to tell you that my darkness was over, but it wasn’t. I didn’t escape the events that I was so fearful of. They happened – and if it weren’t for God – and a doctor in Statesboro, GA named John Adams – I don’t know if I would be here to look back at how much my life has changed since then – for the better, and continues to change.

But, I am one of the lucky ones. For many, there is no “next day.” But, to call someone who has reached the depth of despair selfish – and dismiss their act as a form of attention getting – is totally wrong. There are a lot of people whose shoes I have never walked in – who have never walked in mine. Back in 1998, I might have totally wrote something else, but depression is real – and it’s not something you choose. It grabs hold of you, and paralyzes you. In a sense, it’s like alcoholism. Once you are, you might cope with it, but you always are. You don’t just simply “Get Over It.” Whether it be a divorce, a death, losing a job, or financial disaster – it’s not something you can just put away. But, you can cope with it.

I wasn’t planning on posting this. I know that some will likely have a different opinion of me than they had before. That’s ok. There have been so many comments this week about that have totally infuriated me – and made me sad. But not sad because those are people’s opinions. I would love to have never made a mistake in life, never bounced a check, been married to my sweetheart for 20 plus years with my 3.2 children and 2.3 cars in the drive – and never known those depths. Trust me, I would. Sad because someone who gave so much to so many – and while I was a fan of many of Williams’ movies, I can’t say that I followed his career as intently as a Burt Reynolds or a Larry Hagman – but I ask....Has anyone heard one negative story about Williams this week? Whether it be his support of St. Jude, Rescue Animals, or his family, the man definitely seemed to have a heart as big as Texas. For him not to get that is the saddest tragedy of all. But, I get it. And, if you don’t.....please do me a favor. Shut up, because you probably never will. And, for what it’s worth, I hope you never do.

All Kinds Of Storms

As I write this tonight, a lot of things are on my mind. I am hoping to weave them into a collective blog that makes a little bit of sense. I am at a friends' house tonight doing some dog sitting, and the storms are howling around Music City. The dog, a lovable animal named Jasmine, was quite scared - but is currently dreaming of the dog food section at Petsmart, and all that goes with it. 

At the very least, it got me thinking about how we all face our storms. And, yes, you might have figured out that I'm not talking about weather-related events. Hey, I will be honest. For the past month, I have been facing a "storm" of my own. While I won't go into details - (What, me not offering TMI?) the past month has been filled with a lot of nervous moments. Let me say - the job is fine, my health is ok....nothing to worry about there that I know of. But, there was something that was really pulling at me. And, it came....and it went....and it was one of the best nights of my life. Someone very close to me made me feel like a million bucks. But, it's funny how at this point last week, I was like my friend Jasmine - wanting to hide underneath the table! I'm learning that if you trust and pray, things always have a way of working out. 

But - not always. Many of my Facebook friends were shaken about the death of one of their friends this past week - apparently from a decision to take their own life. I didn't know the person, but my heart goes out to those affected by it. Growing up in the Church, I have always heard differing thoughts about suicide. I think that anyone will tell you it's sad, but there are some who don't really seem to have much sympathy - or even empathy at all for someone in that position. I don't think these people are as cold as they come off sounding, but it really makes me sad. Depression is not a choice that one makes in order to back away from a relationship or a situation that might be hurtful. Some think that it is. It's a gripping disease that is like alcoholism. I don't know if you ever "beat" it, as much as you cope. For some people, the night ends and the sun comes up - but that doesn't mean it's a won battle. You keep rising every day to try to overcome it. Some days, you do a lot better than others. But, one thing I will never do is judge someone who has made that - or any other decision. I am simply not that qualified. My windows have enough cracks in them, thank you very much. And, who knows how the loss of a job, a marriage, or a relationship can affect one? You might notice I am not saying any names on this one, because I would dare say that even those that have the "Perfect" lives, with 2.7 children and 2.1 cars in the garage (It's the average, after all!) have their storms they are going through. Some just are better equipped to face the night. Some aren't. That doesn't mean they are weaker or any less than. I can't explain how some find the light...and others don't - but I believe that God has a lot of mercy - more than some of us. Depression is not an "Out" or an "Excuse." It's as real and as crippling as any disease. It can take away your confidence in just about everything. 

In closing, I just want to offer this prayer of hope to anyone who is going through their own "Storm" tonight. I remember one night where I didn't care if the sun rose the next day or not. For some reason, it did. But, it doesn't for everyone. Those that it doesn't - and those that are affected by it - need to stay in our prayers forever.....Peace, Love, and Understanding. The world - and all of us - would be better with more of all three, don't you think?

Perhaps It Is Time To Advertise......

Today was an interesting day. I stopped at a store to get a birthday card for a friend, and somebody approached me, asking me “How’s that author?” But, they weren’t asking about me, they were asking about my ex-wife. I thought about the response, because the person is someone I have a lot of respect for – and had no way of knowing. I just smiled and said ‘Well, I don’t know, but we’ve actually been divorced for about two years.’ And, so the conversation moved on from there.

In thinking about it since then, I sincerely hope I handled things the right way. I have really tried to make a concentrated effort to move on from the past. Life moves on, and you do the best you can to go along with it. Both of us have picked up the pieces of what was – and have moved on with life. But, the strangest thing about this is there is really no bitterness about things anymore. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Kristofferson – whom I identify with a lot of lyrics more now than I did a decade ago – wrote a song once called “Two Stories Wide.” While that’s true, I am not going to get into the the rehash business. There’s no need to. But, I had to share this other thought that happened last week.

I had driven down to Huntingdon to see TG Sheppard and Kelly Lang in concert. I had gotten into town early, and had some work to do – you know, Have computer, will travel! So, I stopped at one of the local restaurants that had Wi-Fi. As I was pulling in, I had the radio on one of the local stations in West Tennessee, and this song came on. But, it wasn’t any other song....it was “The Song.” I haven’t heard it in years......and there was no pain, no sadness, or melancholy. To be honest with you, I even smiled. Some of my friends have said that there would come a day when all the feelings you once felt – the pain, etc, would go away. It took a while, but I went back in time and it wasn’t a bad memory. It wasn’t meant to be...but there were some good times. It felt amazing to get to that point. I truthfully wish nothing but the best for everyone. Took a while, but that’s where I am.

Now, that being said. Being asked that question made me realize that I probably need to advertise a little more. Meeting someone is not easy for me. I’m not going to go up to someone in a club – or Walmart, and say in my best “Joey” voice - “How you doin?” I wish I had that confidence. And, to be honest, the idea that someone could be attracted to me is a little foreign. There’s been a few chances the past few years, but the moment something doesn’t feel right, I get spooked – and maybe that’s a good thing. If I get a vibe that someone thinks I am a little weird or work too much, that’s usually a red flag. You might think that’s perfectionist talk....but it’s not. I am off-center. Some people hate what they do, and try to get away from it. I am - as proven by my writing this at 11:09pm, a glutton. Most people wouldn’t describe themselves like that, but heck, I am being honest. I just don’t like feeling like I am being judged for it. I used to think that people wore white hats or black hats. Those lines have gotten blurred with life. My hat color is a little gray. I am a Christian, and proud to have seen my walk with God grow, but there are flaws and quirks I have – and not all of them are bad. That being said, I would love to meet someone again. it’s time, I think. But, my timeline has really worked well to this point. I’m leaving it to the man upstairs, but.....as I said, it might be time to take out a radio ad......Not everyone knows! They say that radio gets results....LOL!

A Life Well Lived

I have been blessed the be in the music business for close to twenty-five years (I wrote that, and I have to admit that it kind of jolted me just a little) now. Even so, I can't say that I have been to many memorial services of people in the industry. I have known a lot of people who have passed on, but unless I know them well - I don't usually go. That being said, I made an exception this morning and went to remember David Haley.

Unless you worked in the business, you probably had no idea of the heart and passion this man had for his career and his friends in the industry. For close to three decades, he was one of the top record promoters in town, carving out a legendary run with MCA Nashville - where he was responsible for promoting well over 150 records to the top of the charts. He was class personified - and one of the sharpest dressers in the business. 

I don't want to give the wrong impression, and make you think we were the closest of friends. But, I do have to share with you a story that shows what a gentleman he was. Back in 1994, I had just became Music Director at WDKN in Dickson. I had no training to know what a MD actually did. But, I knew I was tired of playing music from my own cassettes on the afternoon show. So, i called record company after record company. it was a different world than today. WDKN wasn't a Music Row chart reporting station as it became in 2002, so there wasn't anyone in Nashville waiting to hear from one Chuck Dauphin. Heck, the person at RCA even told me unless I was a Billboard station, I needed to buy them. 

But, I kept calling. And, finally got to MCA Nashville. This wasn't going to go well. MCA was the home of names like Reba, George, Vince, Wynonna, and so on and so forth. But, I called  - and wound up getting a voice on the other end of the line - David Haley. I told him - probably in my highest pitch I could register - who I was and what I was calling about. He said, 'Have you put in a product request?' Nope, didn't know what that was. So, over the next ten minutes, David Haley - in the midst of promoting who knows what classic record at the time walked me through what to do. He didn't have to take the time to be nice to a novice. Few others did at that time. 

I would develop a good working relationship with him over the years. My name wasn't Coyote or Moon, so I didn't bug him too much, but if I requested CD's I got them. Over the years, he watched my career, and would always greet me at CRS, Fan Fair, etc, like I mattered. I appreciate that to this day. In fact, in 2011, when I was hired by Billboard , one of the first people I emailed was David Haley.

David passed away last month, and today many of his friends and co-workers turned out to remember him at a Memorial Service. There were tears flowing freely, but they were mixed with so many funny memories of a man who touched so many lives. To survive radio, records, journalism, you have to develop a sense of humor - bordering on the strange, perhaps. And, listening to these stories was proof that Good Guys sometimes finish first. Anyone should be so honored to have the send-off that he did today. Whether it was his love of family, friends, or work, one more time David Haley taught us to laugh, to smile, and to just be nice.  After all, Marty Stuart and Vince Gill don't just perform at anyone's memorial, do they? "Big Daddy," keep working on that VIP list up there. Hope to see you again....and by the way, you were great as "King" David on the Marty Stuart Radio Show......

And, the 2014 Class of the Country Music Hall of Fame should be.....?

Coming up on April 22, the Country Music Hall of Fame will be making an announcement – a “really big” announcement, as Barney Fife might say. That’s when the “Class of 2014” will be named for this year’s inductions. This is something that many of you are very passionate about – and I am too. There is simply no way that everyone is going to be pleased.....but I will say that I would not want to have the job of the committee that makes the selections. I would like to see the Hall induct a huge class this year – similar to the twelve they enshrined in 2001, when the new Hall of Fame opened. With all the renovations that have taken place, it would be a great time to do that again. But, I don’t see that happening this year, so here’s my view on who should get in.......

VETERANS CATEGORY

• Dottie West / This is been one of the most passionate of all campaigns that have been mounted for anyone in the business. But, simply said, it’s time. Past time. There is no other female vocalist that deserves this anymore than Dorothy Marie Marsh. Whether it was the gingham of the “Country Sunshine” era or the spandex of “Lesson In Leavin,” West set a standard of talent and style that so many have taken a page from....
• Jerry Reed / The only person I might put in ahead of Dottie West would be Jerry Reed. Whether it be for his records, songwriting, or acting, Jerry Reed influenced so many acts in the business. And, of course, there’s his instrumental skills. One of the best ever to pick up a guitar. One of the “A-Team” at Studio B. Again, a no-brainer
• Hank Williams, Jr. / “Bocephus” could actually be placed in this category or the “Modern” category. His success transcends both eras. Nobody – with the exception of Garth – revolutionized the live concert experience like “Rockin’ Randall Hank.” Like him or hate him. Agree with him or disagree. No matter, he deserves to be right there in the rotunda with those other Williams boys!
• Jim Ed Brown / While there are others that have had more hit records, from the 1960s on, Jim Ed Brown became one of the faces of the format through his extensive television work on “Country Place” or “Nashville On The Road” and his commercials for Dollar General. His records were timeless, as well, with “Morning” and “Pop A Top” being classics – as well as the great duets he cut with Helen Cornelius. Should he be in as a solo act or with sisters Maxine or Bonnie? I don’t know the answer. You can argue both ways, but he deserves to be in.
• Archie Campbell / In 2014, the “Mayor of Bulls’ Gap” would be 100 years old. He’s been deceased since 1987, so among many of the younger voters on the committee, Campbell might not be as well known as he should be. However, he helped to redefine country comedy with his 1950s / 1960s work on RCA, being the first country comedian to walk out on the Opry stage in a suit and tie....though he did don a pair of overalls for the most successful phase of his career – as a writer and star of “Hee Haw.” It may never come to be, but I would love to see this one at some point!
  MODERN CATEGORY
• The Oak Ridge Boys / Along with my second pick in this category, I feel as passionate about the Oaks being in the Hall as I do anyone. Other than a log jam of people who deserve it, there’s no reason for them not to be. They created music that has endured, and still are among the class of the genre – now as well as then.
• Ronnie Milsap / 35 or 40 number one hits – depending on who you cite – they speak for themselves. He was so successful for so long on the charts. Again, along with the Oaks, I think he has been caught in a tight squeeze. I would put the Oaks in slightly ahead, but there’s no doubting the achievements of Ronnie Milsap. Incidentially, he’s not on the road on April 22....Hmmmm...
• Ricky Skaggs / In the 1980s, this hillbilly flash from Cordell, KY made Webb Pierce, Carl Butler and Flatt and Scruggs cool. And, he was pretty flashy on stage himself. I don’t know if one could have seen a better concert than a Skaggs show in the mid 1980s. He helped to educate a generation on classic country, then on bluegrass. He was an “Artist In Residence” this past year. Over the past few years, that list has included Tom T. Hall, Kenny Rogers, and Connie Smith. And, guess where you can see plaques of those artists?
• Randy Travis / If you think the word “sympathy,” think again. Remember the albums Storms of Life and Always And Forever? He helped usher in a new awareness of traditional country music, and inspired a generation. It would be emotional to see him accept an induction after his health issues from the past year....but it would also be deserved.
• Alan Jackson / It’s going to happen, as well as it should. I would rather see the above four get in first – and Alan probably would as well. But, this is a slam dunk over the next few years. Mark it down!

NON-PERFORMER (Songwriter in 2014)
• Hank Cochran / I think the tribute album that Jamey Johnson spearheaded a few years ago will put him at the top of this list, but in reality.....he should be there!
• Bob McDill / The list of hits speaks for themselves – as well as for him.
• Dea n Dillon / Again, see above.
• John D. Loudermilk / One of the greats from the 1960s, who gave us “Abliene,” among so many others.
• Don Schlitz / Cochran and McDill need in first....but “The Gambler,” “On The Other Hand,” etc, etc...Need I say more?

I think this list is pretty concise....but I know there’s some of you out there who are thinking ‘How could you leave _____ off?’ On April 22, we will know. In any case, let’s all remember that the Hall is reserved for the best of the best, and anyone who is represented there deserves to be. It upsets me when people will say “So and so doesn’t deserve to be there.” Last I checked, I can’t really say there is any such artist who has been voted in that didn’t earn it.....But, again, it is a passionate debate.....

A Few Wishes....

Last week, I began reading Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. I am three chapters in, and trying to approach it with an open mind. Some that I have told about the book have said “Just put your faith in God.” The crazy thing is, I haven’t read anything that would suggest that the book downplays your beliefs in a higher power. Rather, what I have gathered about The Secret is that it tries to show you the power of changing your thought process about yourself and your life.

I have always tended to view life through a half empty glass. The sky is going to fall, and when it does, it’s going to bite me on the backside. If success is going to happen – and not just career success, I’ve got to try to fix that part of my life.

For the past three years, I have been blessed to work at a job that I love. I cherish each article I get to write, and each interview I do. Seeing the title “Chuck Dauphin, Billboard” is something I am grateful for each day of my life. But, that being said...there are still struggles. How I look at them is something that needs to change. One of the things I have read in the book is about The Secret of Attraction.

This isn’t exactly about finding love or the prettiest woman. But, then again, it could be, But, whatever it is, you have to convince yourself that you deserve it. With that said, here are a few things I would like to accomplish before my life is over. Call them goals or dreams, or simply call them silly. Some are a little more important to me than others, but writing these down give me something to look at......and the key – according to the book – is not coming up with reasons why you shouldn’t have them......but rather why you should.

LOVE – This has been my albatross over the years. I can live without it----but I don’t want to. Marriage did not work for me, at least the first time around. There’s a lot of reasons for that, and it’s water under the bridge. But, I feel that I do have something that I can offer someone. I’m a good listener and have a good heart. I would love to find someone a little more wise, maybe a little older than me. I was never “cool” even when I was younger, so to think that I would be compatible for someone ten years or so younger would be crazy. A “Cougar” might be more my speed. Regardless, I want to feel that rush, that spark...and you know what, I do deserve that.

MONEY – My problem with books like “The Secret” or Joel Osteen is I don’t believe it’s that simple as saying I should be financially secure and BOOM! You are. Being “rich” isn’t a goal. I would just like to have enough to live on without having to worry. I don’t want to be borrowing from Peter to pay Paul for the rest of my life. Right now, that’s what I have to do. I would also like to be in position to help people – and animals. It breaks my heart to see a pet that I couldn’t help or take in because I have a quota – and then some. Living in a twenty room mansion isn’t a goal....but laying down on a couch watching TV late at night, and having peace of mind? I would definitely love to be there.

SPIRITUAL LIFE – I grew up in the Church. I am glad I did. But, I will tell you that while the basis for that faith was sewn when I was much younger, it took being knocked around and tested by life to truly feel God’s love. I got away from that for a while – when things were really starting to hit the fan. I don’t want that to allow to happen to myself again. God has been there through so many struggles and challenges in my life. I want to grow stronger in him.

CAREER – Simply put, I want to continue on the road I am on. The past few years, I have always felt that ‘It can’t get any better.’ And, somehow, it does. I don’t know that I have any concrete goals on this end – just go where I am led. I love the interviews, I love the traveling. I love it all. I want to continue to grow in this. I have the talent to do so. So, where I am led, I will follow.

HEALTH – Without this one, the rest of the above kind of don’t matter. But, maintaining one’s physical, mental, and spiritual health is a day-to-day process. I have to take it one day at a time, and don’t allow myself to get down if I hit a snag in either one of those areas. For years, I could have cared less. Life wasn’t that important to me. I didn’t feel I deserved it. I made myself (or in some cases, was told – but it was mostly me) feel that I wasn’t as good, as smart, or as handsome as this person or the other. There are many people smarter or more handsome. But, I am special. I am good enough. I think there is something a lot better on the other side of life, but I want to live long enough to see some of these hopes come true. I deserve that.

Again, some of this might sound haughty. Unlike a lot of my blogs, I am not sending out links to these. And, I know that a lot of you will read these anyway over time. My life is good. I just want it to be better. I want to wake up in the morning next to someone I care about – that makes my heart beat like never before. I want to sleep at night without wondering how I am going to put gas in my car each trip to Nashville – which that all has all somehow worked out in the past. I want to be at Church on Sundays and Wednesdays as much as I possibly can, but also live my beliefs when I am out of the building the other five days a week. I want to continue to interview as many as I can. Who knows? Maybe one day, George Strait! I want to travel to to the other eighteen states I have never been in for work, as well as those I have. And, I want to be well enough to enjoy it all. I deserve it. (I figure if I keep saying that, I will believe it!)

Well, it’s onto another chapter. I’ll keep you posted.....

Vegas....One Year Later....

I was just looking back at my blog from one year ago today. I was in the same place - maybe even the same seat that I am now. Waiting on an airplane at Las Vegas to go back home. Whew! What a past few days out here covering the ACM Awards. 

Traveling is something that I love to do. Heck, I even love the airport experience. Even though, there's something to be said about eating a $ 4 Subway for dinner. I have tried to cut down meals to two a day over the past few days - because it's tough to afford $15-20 every time you get hungry. Alas, that is a minor quibble.

From a career level, this has been the most fun past few days of my life. I don't know how good I am or am not at my job, but let me say that nobody enjoys it more. Getting to go places I wouldn't normally get to go or interview people I wouldn't normally interview makes me realize how blessed I am. It might sound a little strange, but I love my work. It - along with spending time with my son from time to time in Kentucky - is my release, my muse if you will. I can't sing or play, but I need music almost as much as I need air.

The most amazing part of the trip this year is the fact that many of the artists that I have gotten to interview over the years kind of know who I am. As someone who spent may a $10 allowance on music as a kid, that just blows my mind. In the press room following the ACM Awards, I got to ask George Strait and Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones questions. Pretty cool stuff! (In fact, Jerry Jones looked right at me while answering as if he was trying to sell me. That was a bucket list moment!) I don't take it for granted what I get to do. I know I say that a lot, but keep in mind that five years ago - I didn't even know if I would still be doing anything in the music / radio field. My job of almost two decades had came to a sudden end - which also set off a domino effect in my life of a lot of other things. 

However, I'm still here. The difference between now and ten years ago is that I know it's not me. God has put me in place for so many things in my life that I simply offer him the praise and the credit. He did bless me with the talent, but it's all him. Maybe struggling a little bit made me work harder, take a few more chances, but God has led me here. Trust me, I'm not smart enough to imagine all this. He also protects me. There's been so many times where I have been absolutely worried about losing my shirt, and those smarter decisions I write about making haven't taken place nearly as often as I would like, but when I think the sky is falling....he steps in and calms the storm. Praise God for that!

So, it's time to go wait on the plane!....One year from now at this time, I hope to give you an update again - Lord willing, I will be flying back from Dallas, where the ACM's will be in 2015. Looking forward to seeing Cowboys Stadium - as well as that white ranch house just outside of Plano that you know and I hope to make a quick trip to!

Blessed from Las Vegas........C

Changing My Frequency

This is different from my usual approach with this blog, because I am not going to advertise this one as much as I usually would. It's not because I don't stand behind what I am writing - I do - maybe more than ever....but I am putting this up for one person more than anyone else...me!

This week has been a difficult one for me. Were it not for a 2am phone call last night, I would have very likely gone crazy. I don't tell many people when the bad stuff happens because I don't want to bother anyone. We all have our problems - and sometimes, we bring some of it on ourselves.

Without going into detail about the "What," my friend who I kept from sleep suggested that I look into a book called The Secret. It wasn't the first time that had been suggested. My feelings concerning books like those are that it's probably going to help someone like Joel Osteen a lot more than me. And, I think the answers to a lot of the questions we have about life can be found within the pages of the Bible. But, I found a copy of the book for $2.50, and with a trip to Vegas around the corner, I knew I would need something to read. So I bought it. I had a few minutes to kill before going on the air today, so I started to read. One thing I found very interesting is an early portion of the book about "Changing The Frequency," where it says that if there's something you don't like on television - you change the channel. The author compared this to life - a very good point. So, this is my first attempt to learn some of the lessons inside the book.

I realized that while life has dealt me a few curve balls the past few years, the magic is how you handle it. My grade? Yikes. We don't want to go there. I've made more than my share of mistakes - some I could help, and others I don't see a way around. That being said, what the book brought to my attention is how I have always thought about life. That's something that I have to change - or my life is never going to get any better.

I have always told myself that good things weren't going to happen to me. Whether that stemmed from being picked on in school by people for being a little off center - or a general lack of confidence, I've done that all my life. 'The sky is going to fall.' There's no stopping it. In a way, I am writing this as a note to myself to look at the positive things in my life that God has blessed me with. The wheels haven't fallen off the wagon. Though, to be honest, I am finding out that I have something to do with to that fact myself. I have never thought I was worthy of success - not claiming to be better than I am, but you are what you think. That's got to change. From a career standpoint, it has gotten better. Financially, it's tough. Career and finances don't always go together. But, I am to blame for some of it for poor decision making - and poor self-opinion. But, I am realizing this week that if you want to have different results in life, you need to go down different roads. I pray - and ask for your prayers that I can do this. Whether that be believing in myself to the point of a new outlook on life and the possibilities in life or in love, God has not let me down any along my path - though I haven't made it easy. So, lesson one from The Secret - Believe in yourself and your life. Believe it can happen to you - rather than someone else. Writing this isn't going to make it an automatic thought process for me, but it gives me something to look at. And, if it's on the Internet, it has to be true, right?

A Few 'Great Debates' For You!

I have been rather heavy and philosophical as of late. LOL, I am sure my next blog will be. But, I thought I would lighten things up just a little bit. I joked a couple of weeks ago that my posts here were becoming too life and death-related, and I was going to write about people I wanted to go out with. Well, I don’t know if the Internet has that much room – but it did get me thinking about celebrity crushes, and some of those great debates that people have gotten into from time to time. Television has been the medium where most of us developed our first crush. I am no different. To this day, I still can’t make up my mind if it was Linda Gray from ‘Dallas’ or Valerie Bertinelli from ‘One Day At A Time.’ (Incidentally, I watched an old episode of ‘Family Feud’ on YouTube the other night that featured the cast of both shows in an all-star celebrity square-off. All I will say is I would have loved to have been Richard Dawson!)

But, it occurred to me that there have been some great debates about beauty and attraction over the years.....Take, for instance.....

Ginger vs. Mary Ann / Maybe the ultimate debate among television viewers concerns itself with the classic 1960s series ‘Gilligan’s Island,’ in which Bob Denver was stranded with both Tina Louise and Dawn Wells on a desert island. Well, there were four others...but seriously! People were either charmed by the small-town innocence of Wells’ Mary Ann Summers or the movie star sizzle of Louis. e’s Ginger Grant. It has been the debate for the ages! But, most people I have talked to seem to lean toward Mary Ann, proving good always wins. While both were stunning, there was a sweetness about Mary Ann that Dawn Wells brought out beautifully. But, there were other debates...

The “Supernatural” Women / In 1964, ABC delivered one of its’ first major sitcom hits with “Bewitched.” The show starred Elizabeth Montgomery as newlywed Samantha Stephens, who was also....a witch. It’s interesting to note that most people’s thoughts of witches seemed to deal with The Wizard Of Oz before the show debuted. With a twitch of that nose, Montgomery charmed the world. The next year, NBC premiered “I Dream Of Jeannie,” which was the story of Larry Hagman’s Tony Nelson – who struck gold when he found a beautiful genie on the beach. A witch with a twinkle of her nose or a genie...without a navel? Ah, the debate has endured for five decades. This one is tough, as Barbara Eden was, and is , one of the most beautiful women to ever grace the TV screen. But, there was something about that witches’ dress. All I am saying.....

Those are two of the biggest debates, but there are others. In 1978, viewers got a taste of what happens in the world of radio with the debut of ‘WKRP In Cincinnati’ The show was more true than most might think. If you have ever worked in radio, you probably worked around a Les Nessman, Johnny Fever, Venus Flytrap, or a Mr. Carlson. And, you just might have worked around a Jennifer, played by the voluptuous Loni Anderson. But, as much of a sex symbol as she became, there was something about Jan Smithers, wasn’t there? Her character of Bailey wasn’t as in-your-face gorgeous as Anderson, but I know of many radio guys who admitted to a crush on Smithers over Anderson.

And, there were others.....Which ‘Hee Haw’ Honey was your favorite? (Gunilla), Favorite ‘Friend’ (I run the gamut here, sometimes Jennifer Aniston, sometimes Lisa Kudrow, but always Courtney Cox)....or which ‘Waltons’ sister did you like? (Torn between Erin and Mary Ellen, but have to go with Erin)..........

And, for fans of the male gender.....there are some interesting debates to be had.......Bo or Luke? Magnum, PI or Michael Knight of ‘Knight Rider?’ or going back to the 70s, were you a David Cassidy, aka ‘Keith Partridge’ fan, or did your heart skip a beat for the oldest of the boys named ‘Brady,’ Greg?

The cool thing is there are no right or wrong answers. And, at the end of the day, it’s a lot more entertaining of a debate than a political one, don’t you think? If nothing else, hopefully, I’ve made you smile a little bit this week....and brought back a cool memory of a poster you might have had on your wall!

A Facebook Explanation

Wow. What a week. It’s all good, but it’s a lot. That’s the story of the past few weeks. I feel compelled to explain a recent Facebook post where I asked for prayers. I will be the first to admit that I do this a lot. I tend to hit the panic button when things get a little uncertain, and I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve – perhaps a little too much from time to time. But, that being said...that’s who I am – for better or worse. If things are bad, or I get upset...you’re going to know about it. I apologize if I talk too much...but again, that's just me.

That being said, I had a lot of people ask me about this particular post. It was actually the far extreme. Over the past few months, my career has really kind of kicked into a higher gear. That’s a good thing, for a lot of reasons. After driving my Jeep almost to the end of the line, I took the plunge and got a Nissan Versa Note. The difference in mileage is astounding, and it’s good to be able to drive something that has no memories of a past life. I thank God that I was able to do that. But, there is the paying for it. Sometimes, you have take a leap of faith. So, there. I did. Folly or Wise? Time will tell.

Have you ever felt like you were standing in the middle of a freeway – hoping you didn’t get your butt ran over? LOL...That’s kind of how I am feeling now. There has been so many work opportunities that I have been presented with as of late, and I have tried taking advantage of each of them. Some are part of my job, some aren’t. But, it’s not the time to say no. I have never been the best at taking imitative. Call it a mixture of shyness or just plain scaredy-cat, I never really had the confidence in myself until the past couple of years. I always looked at others as being smarter, more talented, cuter, etc, and never took advantage of some opportunities that I might have had in the past. Might my life have been different had I done that? Maybe, in some ways, but I am convinced that I am where God wants me to be right now.

Since January, I have been working as hard as I have ever done. (Once upon a time, I said this and someone replied ‘You’re not working any harder than anyone else.’ Maybe not, but let me repeat....I am working as hard as I have ever done before. There are days and nights that I feel I am going to go to sleep with my fingers on the keyboard, where I wonder if I can do it all – but I’m getting there. I’m eating, putting gas in the car, feeding the pets I have, and taking care of what I need to....and I’ve had a lot of help. Not naming names, but there are three houses that I am very blessed and fortunate to be able to stay at if I need to in Nashville if the schedule gets crazy. They know who they are, and believe me...I do.

So, when I ask for prayers about all this, just know I am a little scared of messing it all up. But, it’s without a doubt the most exciting time of my career. I want to be the absolute best at what I do – writing, interviewing, etc. With a little help from above, I’ve got this.

There are still others who are smarter or more talented than I am. But, I am trying not to sell myself as short as I once did. That’s a process I am trying to learn. As far as those who are cuter? Well, one thing at a time. I still hope that person is out there, because I never intended to be in my 40s still looking, but telling myself I am worth that is still a little tough. However, I am trying.

So, just know that I am blessed, fortunate, busy, and a little scared....but I wouldn’t have it any other way.... I don’t guess it would mean anything if I wasn’t right?