Wow.
What a week. It’s all good, but it’s a lot. That’s the story of
the past few weeks. I feel compelled to explain a recent Facebook
post where I asked for prayers. I will be the first to admit that I
do this a lot. I tend to hit the panic button when things get a
little uncertain, and I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve –
perhaps a little too much from time to time. But, that being
said...that’s who I am – for better or worse. If things are bad,
or I get upset...you’re going to know about it. I apologize if I talk too much...but again, that's just me.
That
being said, I had a lot of people ask me about this particular post.
It was actually the far extreme. Over the past few months, my career
has really kind of kicked into a higher gear. That’s a good thing,
for a lot of reasons. After driving my Jeep almost to the end of the
line, I took the plunge and got a Nissan Versa Note. The difference
in mileage is astounding, and it’s good to be able to drive
something that has no memories of a past life. I thank God that I was
able to do that. But, there is the paying for it. Sometimes, you have
take a leap of faith. So, there. I did. Folly or Wise? Time will
tell.
Have
you ever felt like you were standing in the middle of a freeway –
hoping you didn’t get your butt ran over? LOL...That’s kind of
how I am feeling now. There has been so many work opportunities that
I have been presented with as of late, and I have tried taking
advantage of each of them. Some are part of my job, some aren’t.
But, it’s not the time to say no. I have never been the best at
taking imitative. Call it a mixture of shyness or just plain
scaredy-cat, I never really had the confidence in myself until the
past couple of years. I always looked at others as being smarter,
more talented, cuter, etc, and never took advantage of some
opportunities that I might have had in the past. Might my life have
been different had I done that? Maybe, in some ways, but I am
convinced that I am where God wants me to be right now.
Since
January, I have been working as hard as I have ever done. (Once upon
a time, I said this and someone replied ‘You’re not working any
harder than anyone else.’ Maybe not, but let me repeat....I am
working as hard as I have
ever done before. There are days and nights that I feel I am going to
go to sleep with my fingers on the keyboard, where I wonder if I can
do it all – but I’m getting there. I’m eating, putting gas in
the car, feeding the pets I have, and taking care of what I need
to....and I’ve had a lot of help. Not naming names, but there are
three houses that I am very blessed and fortunate to be able to stay
at if I need to in Nashville if the schedule gets crazy. They know
who they are, and believe me...I do.
So,
when I ask for prayers about all this, just know I am a little scared
of messing it all up. But, it’s without a doubt the most exciting
time of my career. I want to be the absolute best at what I do –
writing, interviewing, etc. With a little help from above, I’ve got
this.
There
are still others who are smarter or more talented than I am. But, I
am trying not to sell myself as short as I once did. That’s a
process I am trying to learn. As far as those who are cuter? Well,
one thing at a time. I still hope that person is out there, because I
never intended to be in my 40s still looking, but telling myself I am
worth that is still a little tough. However, I am trying.
So,
just know that I am blessed, fortunate, busy, and a little
scared....but I wouldn’t have it any other way.... I don’t guess
it would mean anything if I wasn’t right?
